So, I have three cats.
THIS is the asshole.
His name is Alex. He showed up one cold, snowy February — skinny, dirty, and oh-so-friendly. Until he got inside.
That’s when the chaos began.
He ate everything. The other cats’ food. The dog’s food. My food. If it was edible, it was his.
You can’t touch him — but he can absolutely touch you. He’ll sleep on you, sit on your lap, curl up next to you… but the second you try to pet him, he bites. He scratches. He’s a fuzzy little landmine with fur.
He doesn’t purr. He doesn’t meow. He chirps.
And around one of his back legs? There’s this perfect stripe — looks exactly like an ankle monitor. Which is fitting, because…
He once ran away for three weeks. Ended up three miles away. Now he’s been on house arrest ever since.
Every 30 to 45 days, he decides to be charming again — like clockwork.
And here’s his latest attempt at charm. 😼